How Do I Cultivate Humility?

Question 11169.

How, exactly, do I cultivate humility? It is one of the most frequently repeated commands in the whole New Testament and, in my own experience of pastoral ministry, one of the hardest virtues to actually grow in, partly because the very moment you think you have succeeded at humility you have usually lost it again. I want to work through what Scripture actually means by humility, why it matters so much, and what practical steps genuinely help someone cultivate humility over the long haul rather than just talking about wanting it.

Humility is not, as popular usage sometimes wrongly suggests, thinking poorly of yourself or having generally low self-esteem. Biblical humility is thinking of yourself accurately, in right relationship to God and to other people, and it is a quality Scripture consistently ties to genuine spiritual maturity rather than weakness.

What biblical humility actually means

The Greek word behind humility in passages like Philippians 2:3 is tapeinophrosyne, a term that carried largely negative connotations in the wider Greco-Roman world, associated with servility and low social status, before Christianity reshaped it into a positive virtue. Paul commands believers to ‘count others more significant than yourselves’ (Philippians 2:3), grounding the instruction directly in Christ’s own example of self-emptying humility in the verses that follow.

C.S. Lewis captured the biblical idea rather well when he once wrote that humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less often. It is an accurate, God-centred self-assessment rather than either false modesty or genuine self-contempt, both of which are, in their own way, still forms of excessive self-focus.

Why humility matters so much in Scripture

God’s opposition to pride and favour toward humility is stated with unusual bluntness: ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble’ (James 4:6, quoting Proverbs 3:34). This is not a minor preference. It shapes how God relates to a person at the most fundamental level, since grace, the very thing every believer depends on entirely, flows toward humility and is actively resisted by pride.

Jesus Himself describes humility as the doorway into the kingdom, teaching that ‘whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven’ (Matthew 18:4), and He commends the humility of the tax collector who would not even lift his eyes to heaven over the self-satisfied prayer of the Pharisee (Luke 18:9-14). Across both testaments, humility is presented not as an optional extra virtue but as the basic posture God’s people are called to hold toward Him and toward each other.

Christ as the pattern for humility

Philippians 2:5-8 gives the definitive picture of what it looks like to cultivate humility, describing Christ, ‘though he was in the form of God,’ as one who ’emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,’ and ‘humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.’ This is humility exercised from a position of infinite strength rather than weakness, which is worth sitting with, since much of what passes for humility in ordinary life is really just a lack of confidence or status rather than a genuine, deliberate choice to set aside real strength for the good of others.

This matters practically. Cultivating humility does not mean pretending you have no gifts, no strengths, or no accomplishments. It means holding whatever genuine strength you do have loosely, in service of others, exactly as Christ held His own divine glory loosely for our sake.

Practical ways to cultivate humility

Regular, honest self-examination before God, asking Him to reveal blind spots you cannot see in yourself, is a good starting discipline, since pride is notoriously good at hiding from its own possessor. Actively seeking and genuinely welcoming correction from others, rather than simply tolerating it, trains the reflexes humility depends on. Proverbs is direct about this: ‘Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid’ (Proverbs 12:1).

Serving quietly, in ways nobody around you notices or ever credits you for, is another concrete practice that genuinely cultivates humility over time, since it removes the audience that pride typically performs for. And genuinely celebrating other people’s successes without inward comparison or resentment, actively practising it rather than simply wishing you felt that way, trains the heart toward humility more effectively than almost anything else I have observed in years of pastoral ministry.

Common obstacles to growing in humility

Comparison is probably the single greatest obstacle, since humility measured against other people rather than against God’s holiness inevitably slides either into pride, when you compare favourably, or into false humility and self-pity, when you compare unfavourably. Scripture consistently measures humility against God’s own character rather than against a shifting human benchmark, which is a considerably more stable and honest standard.

A second obstacle is confusing humility with low confidence or an inability to use your gifts openly. Biblical humility does not require hiding genuine ability or refusing legitimate responsibility. Moses led a nation while described as ‘very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth’ (Numbers 12:3). Meekness and effective leadership were not, in his case, in any tension with each other at all.

A biblical example worth studying closely

John the Baptist offers one of the clearest pictures in Scripture of someone who managed to cultivate humility in the middle of genuine popularity and influence. Crowds flocked to him, and by any ordinary measure he had every reason for self-importance. Yet when his own followers grew anxious that Jesus was drawing larger crowds than John himself, John’s response was immediate and unhesitating: ‘He must increase, but I must decrease’ (John 3:30). That single sentence remains, for me, one of the clearest working definitions of what it actually looks like to cultivate humility under real pressure to do the opposite.

What makes John’s example so instructive is the context. He was not a failure being consoled for lack of success. He was, by every worldly measure, at the height of his ministry’s influence, and he chose, deliberately and joyfully, to point away from himself toward Christ. That is genuinely difficult to do when you have real influence to protect, and it is exactly the kind of choice that cultivates humility far more effectively than any amount of simply thinking humble thoughts.

Why this connects to the wider Christian life

Humility is not a stand-alone virtue that can be cultivated in isolation from everything else in the Christian life. It is deeply connected to how you handle success, how you receive criticism, how you serve people who cannot repay you, and how you pray. Prayer itself is, in many ways, a school for humility, since it requires acknowledging dependence on God for everything, including the very ability to pray well in the first place.

I would also say that a church community genuinely matters for growing in this area, since humility is difficult, sometimes impossible, to cultivate entirely on your own. Being embedded in a community that knows you well enough to lovingly challenge your blind spots, and humble enough itself to receive the same challenge from you in return, provides exactly the kind of ordinary, sustained pressure that private effort alone rarely produces.

Why humility is worth the difficult, ongoing effort

I have found, over years of ministry, that the most humble people I know are rarely the ones who talk about humility. They are the ones who simply do not need to be at the centre of every conversation, who can receive correction without becoming defensive, and who genuinely delight in seeing others flourish, sometimes more than they delight in their own successes. That kind of character is not achieved overnight, and it is certainly not achieved through effort alone.

Like every fruit of genuine spiritual growth, the ongoing ability to cultivate humility depends fundamentally and entirely on staying close to Christ, whose own humility remains both the pattern and the actual power behind any real growth in this particular area. Apart from Him, every effort to cultivate humility eventually curdles into either pride at having achieved it or despair at repeatedly failing to.

So, now what?

If you want to cultivate humility in a practical way this week, try asking someone who knows you well a direct, specific question about a blind spot in your character, and receive whatever they say without arguing back, at least in that first conversation. That single practice, repeated regularly, does more for genuine humility than months of simply reading about the subject.

And remember that even wanting to cultivate humility can, ironically, become another subtle form of pride if you turn it into a private achievement to feel good about. Keep bringing the whole effort back to Christ, who alone can produce the genuine article in you, and let Him get the credit for whatever growth actually happens.

Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.

1 Peter 5:5 (ESV)