What about remarriage?

Question 11008

Few pastoral questions carry more emotional weight than the question of remarriage after divorce. Churches have sometimes handled this issue with a harshness that compounds the pain of broken marriages, and at other times with a permissiveness that ignores what Scripture actually teaches. The Bible does not leave us without direction on this subject, but it requires careful attention to what Jesus and the apostles said, and honest acknowledgment that the pastoral application of those principles involves genuine complexity.

What Jesus Taught

The foundational text is Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 19:3-9, where He was asked directly whether it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife “for any cause.” Jesus pointed the Pharisees back to God’s original design in Genesis: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Marriage was intended to be permanent, and divorce was never part of the Creator’s purpose. Moses permitted it, Jesus explained, “because of your hardness of heart” (Matthew 19:8), but it was a concession, not an ideal.

Jesus then gave what is known as the exception clause: “Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery” (Matthew 19:9). The Greek word is porneia, a broad term covering sexual sin in its various forms. This exception is significant because it establishes that there is at least one ground on which divorce does not carry the charge of adultery when remarriage follows. Where one spouse has broken the marriage covenant through sexual unfaithfulness, the innocent party is not bound to remain unmarried. The exception would be meaningless if remarriage were never permissible under any circumstances.

Paul’s Teaching in 1 Corinthians 7

Paul addresses a different situation in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, dealing with marriages where one partner has become a believer and the other has not. His instruction is that the believing spouse should not initiate divorce. But if the unbelieving partner chooses to leave, “the brother or sister is not enslaved” (1 Corinthians 7:15). The language of not being “enslaved” (ou dedoulōtai) is strong and carries implications for freedom, including the freedom to remarry. Paul is not speaking about temporary separation but about abandonment by an unbeliever who refuses to live with a believing spouse. This is widely understood as a second biblical ground for legitimate divorce and, by extension, for remarriage.

What Paul does not do is provide an exhaustive list of every conceivable situation. Scripture gives principles rather than a comprehensive legal code, and the application of those principles to situations involving abuse, prolonged abandonment within a marriage, or patterns of destructive behaviour requires pastoral wisdom, not mechanical rule-following.

The Pastoral Reality

Many people come to faith in Christ already carrying the consequences of broken marriages, sometimes more than one. The question for the church is not whether their past was ideal but whether they are now forgiven, which they are if they have trusted in Christ. The blood of Jesus covers all sin, including the sin of a wrongful divorce. A person who was divorced before conversion and has since come to faith in Christ is a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), and the church has no business placing burdens on them that God has not placed.

For believers who find themselves divorced, the question of remarriage should be approached with honest self-examination before God. Where the divorce occurred on biblical grounds, remarriage is permissible and should carry no stigma. Where the circumstances were more complex, the believer should seek wise pastoral counsel, give genuine time for grief and reflection, and trust that God’s grace is sufficient for whatever situation they find themselves in. What the church must avoid is treating remarried believers as second-class Christians, as though their sin were somehow uniquely unforgivable.

So, now what?

God’s ideal for marriage is one man and one woman for life, and the church should teach this without apology. But we live in a fallen world where marriages do fail, sometimes through no fault of the person left behind. Scripture provides at least two grounds on which divorce and remarriage are permitted without the charge of adultery: sexual immorality and abandonment by an unbeliever. Beyond those clear texts, pastoral wisdom must guide the application of biblical principles to the messiness of real human lives. The tone of Jesus throughout this teaching is one of compassion toward those caught in painful situations, combined with an uncompromising commitment to God’s original design. The church should hold both together.

“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9